Someone asked me how long I have been clean, and this was my reply. I feel that I am anointed to share this at this moment and I pray a special blessing over anyone who still wrestles the demon of addiction. Holy Spirit Thank you for blessing the writer and the reader as you make your intent known.
Well last September I first got clean and I found God in a big way… I made it almost six months and I’m not sure if someone drugged me, or what really happened because I don’t remember. But after that I continued to use and kept trying and trying and trying to stop and I couldn’t. I was stuck, but I know it was for a purpose. I knew of people on my friends list who had gotten delivered from addiction but I didn’t really know what that meant. I knew I knew God. I knew He loved me. And I knew The Bible promised me freedom .
Then I came to the end of my rope again, the first week of June, and I finally saw the power of Christ… the Holy Spirit filled me again and Christ delivered me. I got what I knew was possible… total and complete freedom. My whole life I was operating under forces that were not of God due to various traumas in my life. Jesus swooped in and freed me… showed me where my thought process was totally flawed and how that was keeping me stuck. Showed me my fears in black and white and also the lies that I believed about myself. I was SO MISERABLE. MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!! Everything was a struggle… even small tasks. I couldn’t plan ahead, I had anxiety, depression, PTSD, all types of fear, addictions, I overate, I drank a lot, I was confused, I was afraid, I felt unloved, I felt lost, like I didn’t belong, I didn’t know who I was, I was suicidal, I hated myself, and my insecurity was nearly palpable- as a friend recently brought to my attention. BUT NOW… Now I am free!!!! Jesus has taken all desire for and taste for drugs or alcohol or cigarettes or overeating away from me. I was under (religious) law and I was screwed bc I kept breaking it and didn’t know why I couldn’t stop. So now I’m under grace and love instead!!! Under Christ! And as a result I am able to keep the law without even trying. God showed me that Jesus literally bore our sin, feeling all our guilt and shame, so even I DID NOT HAVE TO feel guilty or ashamed any more. The guilt and shame in themselves kept me stuck and kept me sick.
So you ask how long, and the answer is technically almost two months. But the difference between now and the near six months I had last is last time I managed to do it through meetings and stuff… this time I’m actually totally free, and I don’t even go to meetings now. Before- yes I had clean time but I still wanted to use and didn’t understand why, because I actually hated drugs. It was not a choice at that time, which is very hard to understand if you have never dealt with an addiction of some sort. It HAS BECOME a choice now! I don’t want to use anymore. I am not obsessive, compulsive or impulsive about anything. My capacity for choice has been restored. I may have BEEN an addict, but I am not anymore. I met God last September, but now I know Jesus. He showed me everything. It was through divine intervention and faith and those things alone that I was delivered. It was incredible.
Oh and this is available to anyone who chooses to believe in the life changing power of Jesus Christ! Yes, EVEN YOU!!! 💥💥💥
Praise the Lord. Thank you Jesus! 😊🤗😍